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I'm Tired

We just got back from vacation. I'm glad to be home. A lot of things happened during the trip that weren't very much fun. Too often I am difficult for my children and my wife. I'm aware of it. And ashamed of it.

One of my wife's relatives said he liked me but the rest of the family pretty much thought I was a dick. I accept that judgment. In too many people's eyes it's true. Most of all, it's mostly true in mine. I manage to hurt and offend many people. When I started writing here I did so to talk meaningfully about topics of importance to me. I'm just another voice crying in the electronic wilderness, however.

When I speak plainly about religion people are offended. I'm tired of being told I'm not a Christian, or not a true believer, or apostate, or whatever.

When I speak plainly about politics people are offended. I'm tired of a pointless and polarized argument in our country. I have nothing to say about it of meaning.

When I speak plainly about sex people really get angry. They think I'm disgusting, or sick, or crazy.

And I can't speak plainly about health issues. I am constrained by my employment. And I am constrained by the remarkable stupidity and ignorance of people. No one much pays attention when I advise them in a professional capacity, and my ramblings here are not going to have any effect on the nation's policy or behavior.

I don't really understand how I offend and upset people so much. I regret it, especially my family. I'm tired of trying to fit. I don't. I don't want to write here any more.

T

Comments

  1. AnonymousMarch 16, 2014 at 1:26 PM

    If your goal is to hurt or offend people, then you have failed with me.

    I suspect that most writers - whether in the electronic paper mediums - if they last long enough at their craft, will have many times when they feel like they are a voice crying in the wilderness. "Who's listening?" "Does this make any difference?" "If I speak my mind, then I either make people angry or they stop reading."

    Perhaps the friction created by your comments are characterized by what Dorothy Sayers said of Dante, when he found himself exiled from Florence by his fellow Guelfs. "He had, indeed, three gifts hampering to the career of the practical politician: an unaccommodating temper, a blistering tongue, and an indecent superfluity of brains. But the fatal defect, which clung to him all his life, was that of being insufficiently party-minded."

    When you stop to consider it, those were probably some of the same reasons that the ancient Hebrew prophets like Amos or Jeremiah were unpopular.

    Moreover, I wouldn't be surprised if most of his contemporaries considered the Apostle Paul to be a dick. If that was the case, then perhaps you are in good company... :)

    Whether critical, humorous, analytical, autobiographical, or confessional, your posts reveal a man who has valuable things to share.

    -D-

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  2. UnknownMarch 16, 2014 at 11:30 PM

    Dr Tsaltas,
    Your statement about no longer wanting to relieve your thoughts on this blog is quite unsettling. So many times I have walked into the office of a "professional" who could not thoroughly explain the simple and not so simple issues that seem to never be completely resolved. When I walked into your office I saw hope. That is something that, quite frankly, has not happened to me since I was eighteen. I understand most of this, considering that I myself have been rejected for not being "Christian" enough for others wants. I believe that ignorance is not bliss and that going to church creates a conformist attitude, in a very judgmental environment. I feel like I am looked down upon constantly by family and friends because I am constantly in pain. I believe that even if someone does not listen to your professional advice, you have said what people need to hear. Every person is different, in every way. Please do not give up on the simple things, expressing yourself on this blog truly allows you to vent without being judged. Plus I need you in a good mood for my surgery in the morning.

    I think you are a fantastic person, and I enjoy reading your posts.

    -Mrs. Christian

    ReplyDelete

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