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Cotswolds- A Work of nature and a Wreck of Engineering

We just got back form the Cotswolds. it is staggeringly beautiful. Much work has been done to maintain its beauty, so that it is as much a work of Man as of Nature. If seen that way, it is the biggest garden ever made. As a primarily natural landscape, it is incredibly beautiful. Today was a warm summer day- it was 73 degrees. Fantastic.

The villages are so beautiful. We walked through Bourton-on-Water. The water is a shallow, fast moving stream in which ducks swim and dogs and children play. It is a park fantasy made real. Everyone is quiet, everyone is nice. Everyone picks up their trash. No radios are blaring. No one is palying with frisbees and impinging on others' space. No one is smoking marijuana or barbecuing because it is 'their right' in a public space.There are a dozen nice places to eat, and a dozen ice cream shops (it is a Cotswolds specialty).

Then there is the engineering.....

There is a joke asking what is the European version of Heaven? It is English police, German engineers, Swiss politicians, Italian lovers and French cooks. And the European version of Hell? English cooks, German police, Swiss lovers, Italian politicians and French engineers.

Well, as a prize winning civil engineering major, I want to know what drunken French failure was chosen to design their roads. I am accustomed to traffic circles from New Jersey. The Cotswolds have many of them. They also have several double and THREE triple circles, meaning three consecutive circles rather than a larger and better laid-out intersection. The results are predictable. It took 30 minutes to move half a mile. It was Atlanta or LA in a bucolic setting.

Then there are the lanes. Standard is 12 feet. At 10 feet they feel narrow. 8 feet is as small as you can do, making a 16 foot road the smallest two lane you can have. Anything less is a one lane with passing shoulders. Most of the local roads have 10 foot lanes, and are marked for 30-40 mph. We got passed like a pylon b y people doing 60 mph. In both directions. Three times I saw a car coming head on at me at a combined speed of 100 mph. Only once did the person back down into his lane. The other two passed while I sweated.

The sunlight and trees are beautiful and dazzling. Yes, dazzling, as in the road looks like it has dazzle camouflage. It was very difficult to pick out where my lane was. In the sun I needed sunglasses. In the shade they made me blind. The sun and shade alternated every 10 seconds. For miles...

The lane markings are insane. There are areas with squiggly lines. We don't know what they mean. I think they are pedestrian crossings, but they make the road look like it is made of corduroy.

There are trucks! 20 wheeled behemoths that look and sound like dinosaurs in the landscape, and look like battleships when they are coming toward you on a 16 foot road.

Then there is the parking. In two of the villages there was a cryptic sign- 'road narrows'. No it doesn't. People simply park in your lane. One moment you have a lane. The next moment you have...nothing. The speed is marked 20 mph. Bahahahaha! NO ONE except me was going 20, and I made up for them by going 10. It is an 'interesting' experience to find a parked car in front of you. On a turn. With someone in the only available lane going 40. Towards you.

The roads are- narrow, squiggled, dappled, parked and trucked. I sound like Waffle House's hash browns- scattered smothered, covered, chunked, etc...

We loved our trip to the Cotswolds. Next time I go (if I go) it will be by bus.

Ted

Comments

  1. -D-June 22, 2018 at 3:31 PM

    It is curious that a nation run on the metric system would post their speed limits in miles per hour, especially since the rest of Europe has kilometers per hour. But then again, Brits still talk about how many stone someone weighs, so it's not all metric.

    Given their crazy road system, taking a bus in Britain is indeed a good way to take the stress out of the vacation experience.

    ReplyDelete

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