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The State Dinosaur

 I watched Brokeback Mountain today, the first time I've seen it since it was in theaters. The scenery is breathtaking, and although set in Wyoming the filming was done in Alberta, in the Canadian Rockies. The towns portrayed, however, led me to look up some material about Wyoming as a state. In the course of this I discovered an obscure, pointless, but nonetheless highly entertaining fact. Wyoming has.....a state dinosaur! 

You read that correctly- A....State.....Dinosaur.....

The 6 year-old in me was completely delighted. I was smiling from ear to ear and laughing out loud. How cool that Wyoming has a state dinosaur. An Official state dinosaur! This made me curious whether other states have official dinosaurs. It turns out that 13 states AND the District of Columbia have official dinosaurs! Who knew? It appears that having an official dinosaur is either important or popular, or both. Not only do we have 14 official dinosaurs, we have 3 more states with candidate dinosaurs! That sounds like many of our politicians, but I digress. Washington state's efforts to get Suciasaurus named the official state dinosaur failed, which is hysterically listed in Wikipedia as 'dead'. I presume they mean the bill, because every dinosaur that's ever been is dead, Jurassic Park fantasy fulfillment notwithstanding.

The adult part of me, however, began getting troubled by official dinosaurs. How was one picked? WHY was one picked? As much fun as it is, what possible purpose does it serve to have a state dinosaur? Having watched state government in action, and lobbied on behalf of the Tennessee Medical Association, I am quite sure that the official dinosaur was not simply picked at random. There was a panel, a blue ribbon committee, to choose the official dinosaur. And then began the politics of picking a dinosaur.....

I note that four of the official dinosaurs are named after the state that designated it. Those were easy...Nothing like a favorite son candidate to push everyone else out of the field! I also note that all the official dinosaurs are herbivores. I can only presume that no state wanted an aggressive dinosaur, a hunter, or a meat eating dinosaur, in case they offended or frightened neighboring states or their own vegetarian crowd. Texas naturally chose an absolutely HUGE dinosaur, sauroposeidon proteles. Most states chose dinosaurs found within their boundaries. That gave a wealth of choices to Montana and Wyoming, but precious little to New Jersey and Maryland, which are not hot beds of dinosaur excavation.

I can imagine the committee getting names submitted by the Paleontology department of the state university, the sifting of the names, the interest groups considered....Was there lobbying on behalf of one or another sauropod? Is there somewhere an interest group that promotes hadrosaurs, and made a payment to the New Jersey committee? I mean, why else choose a plant-eating dinosaur that lived in swamps, muck, and mud, and whose primary defensive posture against predators was to RUN AWAY! How much of a bribe does it take to get Astrodon named for Maryland? Astrodon? Sounds like a space explorer dinosaur with a well lubricated love life....

Once out of committee, the entire legislature of the state had to vote on this!!! Oh...My....God.....Because legislatures apparently have absolutely nothing else to do in the age of covid, or perhaps the two parties have been reduced to agreeing only on the official dinosaur, and they want to boast of their bipartisanship. In Washington the bill (declared dead) never made it to a vote. To quote one conscientious Washington state legislator, “The dinosaur bill wasn’t in our priority category areas”. Oh what fine public servants you are!  But never fear, Washington! The dino bill was re-introduced in January of this year. Suciasaurus must feel like Merrick Garland.....

California, the home of making the ridiculous important, claims there is a serious side to having a state dinosaur- 

"It's great to know that other states are honoring their dinosaurs because, as much fun as this bill has been to move forward, it has a serious side," said Bloom. The serious side of honoring a duck-billed, 66-million-year-old herbivore refers to its potential to inspire a love of science. Kids are enamored with dinosaurs. And since California has so many STEM jobs, Bloom wants kids to enjoy a well-rounded STEM education, which will hopefully lead to job seekers who are skilled in the areas in which California has job vacancies, like tech."

Oh, absolutely...Every kid I know will look up the state dinosaur to find inspiration. It's disturbing to think these people have the balls to call themselves our leaders....

The image that I like most, however, is how an official state dinosaur might be used. At every news conference, the press secretary speaks from a podium with the state seal and motto on it. What if.....every state news conference and legislative session were started from a podium with the official state dinosaur on it? Not a big one, a little plastic one. Not only would it promote science, it would emphasize the source of fossil fuels, and how plastic is really the recycling of dead animals. And it would put into perspective the importance of most governmental activities and press conferences, to have the podium decorated with a little plastic toy. It would be even better to replace the gavel with a roaring noise box. The speaker would squeeze the noise box while shaking the official state dinosaur. THAT might get everyone's attention. Either that, or give state legislators a better image of their own importance....




Ted

Comments

  1. David E.April 7, 2021 at 10:14 PM

    Some notes:
    1. I understand that many State (bird/flower/etc.) began as a Civics Class project in some school with a creative teacher. "Guess what, kids - our state doesn't have a State Fungus! Let's nominate one, and advocate for it until it becomes law!" It's a harmless and engaging way to show kids how (nominally) laws are made, and what legislator wouldn't go along "for the kids".

    2. Maryland and New Jersey actually have several well known fossil sites.
    https://www.smithsonianmag.com/travel/five-places-where-you-can-collect-fossils-around-dc-180975596/
    https://www.fodors.com/world/north-america/usa/new-jersey/experiences/news/one-of-the-worlds-greatest-fossil-sites-is-in-a-new-jersey-parking-lot

    3. Merrick Garland is NOT a dinosaur, contrary to your insidious slander. And California hardly has a lock on the "making the ridiculous important" title.

    4. You ... digress? YOU?? Ted Tsaltas digresses?? Oh dear, what IS the world coming to?

    - David

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