I Will Not Spare Even You, My Nurse

 I love The Ililad and The Odyssey. I have read them many times in several translations. The Odyssey in particular is the best action adventure/vengeance story ever told. It is the story of Odysseus' return home after 10 years fighting in front of Troy. He then spends 10 more years getting home to his wife, Penelope. Let us ignore the fact that nine of those years were spent on the island of Ogygia, shacked up with an immortally youthful nymph, Calypso. Odysseus may have been 23 years old with an infant son, when he left. 20 years later he would have been 43, and a very hard 43. 10 years of war and camp life, and more time at sea, shipwrecked, repeatedly threatened. 

After 20 years Odysseus would certainly have looked like the beggar as which Athena 'disguises' him. His is revealed, first to his son and his swineherd Eumaios, then his faithful dog, Argos, and finally his nurse Eurycleia. Eurycleia nursed Odysseus and Telemachos as well. It is reasonable to imagine she was perhaps 23 when Odysseus was born, making her 66 upon his return. She goes to wash his feet, and feels behind his left knee the long scar left by a boar's tusk when he was a teen. She drops his leg, exclaiming "Surely th'art my baby!" 

But Odysseus grabs her by the throat and says darkly "Nanny, d'ye want to destroy me?.....I tell you plainly, and I will do it, too, that if God grants me mastery over the violent men in this house, I will not spare even you, my nurse, when I kill the other women in this house."

I have used this quote often in describing my reactions to dishonorable and insulting behavior. I am completely intolerant. Of course in these latter days we don't kill those who are disrespectful, but short of an honorable apology I treat them as if they were dead in front of my face. I am deeply forgiving of venial mistakes, utterly unforgiving of being dishonored and mistreated.

This is why I left the Democratic Party. I watched the national abortion rights action march on Washington in 2002. I saw various feminist and lesbian groups, wth signs of various character, shouting. Every group had some variant of an attack on men, on white men, on male control. Man-bashing was as much a part of what I saw as pro-abortion sloganeering.

I voted Democrat in every election from 1976 through 2000. I voted principles. I favor legal abortion, aid to the poor and incompetent, universal healthcare, legalized drugs, legalized prostitution. My social agenda matches almost exactly that of the Democrats, always has. But I realzied that I was voting in solidarity with people who despised me simply for my race and sex. White men seemed, to them, to be the root of all that is wrong with America. In contrast, even though I don't believe in the divinity of Jesus, I knew that I could walk into any evangelical church and be greeted politely, welcomed, given a cup of coffee, and someone would speak with me. And that is how I came to be a Republican, even though I disagree with almost all their social agenda.

In the ensuing 20 years, the Democratic Party has gone completely insane over equity and inclusion. Every kind of psychiatric oddity, sexual perversion, and social fringe group is extolled, is promoted for 'rights', while white men, the founders and by far the most productive group not just in US but in world history, are denigrated constantly as the patriarchy, old white men, mansplaining, oppressors, killers of indigenous brown peoples, rapers and abusers of women, enslavers of blacks. Our Constitution is even invalid because it was written by racist white men. On and on and on. I have been labeled a racist on line, a misogynist. I have even been labeled a racist by my own children, although they had the grace to at least provide a pro forma apology even if they feel the same way.

And with every such story and word, these people have hardened my opposition. Where I was once very centrist I am now utterly opposed to all things Democratic. This is now a conflict, as I believe abortion should be legally available. Dobbs was a terrific legal decision, but it leaves the practical problem of getting abortion legalized in states where there is deep, religious opposition.

This cannot be done by liberal women alone. 40% of America is Democratic, about half or 20% are women. Even if all 40% of Democrats came to the polls and voted in favor of abortion legalization they still need the votes of independents and Republicans. And it is Republicans like me, socially liberal, whose vote is gettable, and valulable.

This would suggest a politics of moderation, not extremism. We are not (yet) a fascist state, and Democrats cannot compel votes. They must win them. 

Unfortunately, the Democrats are pandering still to the extremes. The coarsest and most offensive type of language is being used about and toward men, both by politicans and individuals. Abortion is being labeled a women's issue, when 70% of men favor legalization. Men are being told that if abortion is not legal then they have to pay medical and childcare costs for any baby they father. White, conservative male justices have taken away women's rights. A 'brown woman' (her self-description, went off on me about white privilege. Another woman cut off conversation because I don't recognize systematic racism in America. Slogan after slogan on "My body, my choice", "If you won't legalize abortion we won't have sex with you", "Don't tread on me". Any attempt at rational discussion is cut off in a wave of misandric posturing. One longtime Facebook friend posted this staggering, racist, sexist article.

This onslaught has taken only 5 days to remind me of why I left the Democratic Party, and despite my strong belief in legal abortion, I find myself struggling over supporting it.

Why should I support healthcare for people who insult and attack me? I'm 65 and have a vasectomy. I could be having sex with a harem of 19 year-olds and no one would get pregnant (although in today's world I'm sure at least 24 of them would claim I assaulted them or some other piece of garbage). The problems among brown and black women are not my fault, and if you're going to label me a racist misogynist, why should I care what happens to you? Go ahead-destroy yourselves. If your neighborhoods crumble to dust it means nothing to me or to any major city, except that crime rates would go down. If you're going to attack me you lose my interest and support.

Liberals have a golden opportunity to make common cause with non-liberals; however, they seem unable to take 'yes' for an answer. In the face of strong agreement and support they insult and scream. Their standard bearers are not people who can rationally articulate a social rather than a woman's issue. They are the lesbian and queer court screamers, the Squad members, Joy Behar, and sundry scolding movie stars.

Like Odysseus, there is no attachment or value that allows me to accept being labeled, insulted, and demeaned. Liberals, you are rapidly losing me in your blizzard of attacks and insults. If abortion stays illegal in much of the nation, you are the reason, not me.

Ted