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Good morning all-

One of the many things that makes me a bit odd in many people's eyes is that I like to get up early. Ever since I was a child, I love the quiet of the morning, and hearing the birds start to chirp, and then the slight lightening of the sky. In 'Shogun', Clavell describes the Japanese ritual of watching the day be born. I totally understand that. It is a contemplative and very spiritual moment to feel the world awaken all around you. 

Along the same lines at the other end of the spectrum, I used to love doing late Christmas Eve services. In singing for money (I really hesitate to call myself a professional, even getting paid pretty well for it), I would come out of church around 12:15 or so. There was almost no traffic on the roads, it was usually cold, and it was early on Christmas morning. I loved being awake at the technical beginning fo the day, and to feel what for me has always been the spiritual magic of Christmas, free of its commercialism. There were no presents, no big breakfast, no football, just me standing in the cold, feeling the numinism of the night.

Despite feeling quite well disposed toward people in general, I generally feel the most spiritual connection when I am alone in surroundings like the early morning, or the cold darkness of Christmas. It is when I am free of all worldly distractions that I feel most strongly the presence of God. I love the moment when Moses, seeing the unconsumed burning bush, hears 'take off your shoes, and come no nearer. The ground you are standing on is holy ground'. 

Now I will sound for a moment like a tree-hugging conservationist, or more like a Celtic druid.  ALL ground is holy. All the earth is the Lord's. Can you not feel the trees speaking? Can you feel the electricity in the air of communion and communication? I never feel it on an interstate, or in a factory. These are the works of men, and no matter how impressive, they are also the vanity of Man. I feel no special spiritual resonance with factories and roads. But to stand in a grove of trees, and hear them talking, that is a spiritual moment. We forget the life within those creatures that can not speak or move, and we dishonor them accordingly. If we have been given mastery, we also have the responsibility of care, not the self-centered indulgence of exploitation. We assume that trees do not dry out as they are cut down simply because we can not hear them. But in fact, many trees DO cry out chemically when they are attacked.

Many people expect the 'punishment' of sin to be a physical chastisement by God. I think rather that we endure the suffering of the consequences of our actions. If we destroy trees and put up buildings, highways and parking lots, we have no one to blame but ourselves when we suddenly find our environment is polluted, that we are dying of cancer and we can find no peace.

As I say to many patients, are we proud of what we have done? I'm not, and I mourn the loss of quiet and greenery. Because it is through them that I find a path to God. 

That is not to say that I despise modern life. I don't, I just want to see it destroy less off other living things to find what we have found. It's kind of like the goose that laid the golden egg. In trying to extract more wealth and comfort from the earth, in trying to leave the stamp of our own hands, we find we have destroyed the very thing that nurtured us. 

I have had a very fine 6 years in my practice. But it is not enough to make a lot of money if you do not give to the world, and do not pursue your passions (teaching in my case). In the same way, it is not enough to make spectacular buildings and engineering triumphs if they destroy the world that gives us so much beauty and peace. 

I feel happy this morning. I think everyone takes for granted that they will pee at various times  through the day. I imagine I will eventually feel that way, but right now I definitely don't. Besides the fact that I must track my intake and output, which means measuring everything I drink and every void, I lived of 5 weeks without renal function. It is one of the minor joys of life that no one thinks about to get up in the morning and pee. I'm beginning to feel more secure about that, but I think it will take a while before I just assume.

Many men who have been in combat return with a much deeper sense of gratitude for small pleasures and things. When you live without them, adn in danger of death, you come to appreciate all the little 'annoyances' of life. Like the flaws in an emerald, it is part of what gives life its character and sweetness.

Ted  

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