Facebook was festooned yesterday with pictures of everyone's mother. I appreciate that almost everyone on FB wants to publicly acknowledge their mother on Mother's Day. My children did so for my wife, who has several pictures of her on FB for Mother's Day. It did affect me in some odd ways, however.
First is the Mr. Pin's Purple Signs effect. Each person, in trying to uniquely honor their mother, has made an homage identical to everyone else's. There is a picture, always beautiful, sometimes of a young woman, sometimes of an old woman, sometimes of a dead woman. There are a couple of universal features. First, nothing but good is said about the mother. Second, the mother is said to be 'the best mother in the world'. a piece of hyperbole claimed by so many when the title can by definition only go to one mother. Last, all the mothers are women.
While this last one is at one level obvious, it does call into question some parts of Mother's Day. How do gay male couples celebrate Mother's Day? 'Their' child had a mother. Had to have had. How about gay female couples? Who is the mother? Several posts claim, I think rightly, that mothering is an act as much as a biological status. While this allows the honoring of adoptive mothers does it mean that men who do traditionally maternal acts should be honored on Mother's Day? Is being a mother sex limited? Birth limited? Role limited?
There is one post that notes, quite unsurprisingly, that we should honor our mothers because we never get another. I suppose that making things rhyme elevates them from the perfectly obvious, but only to the level of the trite. But it raised a question. There are quite a few things that I only get one of, and will never get another. How about days for them?
In particular I am thinking of the marks we all bear from our mothers. I am thinking of placentas. And belly buttons.
You only get one placenta. That it is discarded at birth, that it plays no role in your adult life, should make no difference. Honor thy father and mother. And thy placenta. And of course, we all bear the mark of our mothers. We have belly buttons. We only get one. It is irreplaceable. And it is under-appreciated.
It is time to have a day to honor belly buttons. Like mothers, like fathers, we only get one belly button. It is crucial to our survival. It is a defining mark of being a human. Without one we look weird.
Instead of posting pictures of our mothers, why don't we post pictures of our belly buttons? We could add the quotes so typical for Mother's Day. Best belly button in the world! My 85 year old belly button! Here's a picture of my belly button when it was young! No one has a belly button like mine! We could have a contest for most decorated, or nicest innie, or biggest outie, or whatever.
My point, besides being weird, is that a day that honors a universal is in the end pointless. Posting pictures of your mother, whom most people don't know and about whom no one but you cares is narcissistic and pointless, like posting pictures of your Christmas Tree. It extrudes private life into the public sphere, sort of like talking about the details of your sex life. Everyone has sex in some way.
And his brings up my last observation. This day honors the thing that disturbs us so badly as teens- that our parents had sex. Every time a mother is called out in public we are calling public attention to the fact that this woman had sex. And without use of contraception, or at least with its failure. That is a remarkably inappropriate thing to do. Hey everyone! Look at my beautiful mother! This gorgeous woman had sex with my father! That sounds so odd it makes people uncomfortable.
Maybe Mother's day isn't all it's cracked up to be. Let's honor belly buttons instead.
Ted
First is the Mr. Pin's Purple Signs effect. Each person, in trying to uniquely honor their mother, has made an homage identical to everyone else's. There is a picture, always beautiful, sometimes of a young woman, sometimes of an old woman, sometimes of a dead woman. There are a couple of universal features. First, nothing but good is said about the mother. Second, the mother is said to be 'the best mother in the world'. a piece of hyperbole claimed by so many when the title can by definition only go to one mother. Last, all the mothers are women.
While this last one is at one level obvious, it does call into question some parts of Mother's Day. How do gay male couples celebrate Mother's Day? 'Their' child had a mother. Had to have had. How about gay female couples? Who is the mother? Several posts claim, I think rightly, that mothering is an act as much as a biological status. While this allows the honoring of adoptive mothers does it mean that men who do traditionally maternal acts should be honored on Mother's Day? Is being a mother sex limited? Birth limited? Role limited?
There is one post that notes, quite unsurprisingly, that we should honor our mothers because we never get another. I suppose that making things rhyme elevates them from the perfectly obvious, but only to the level of the trite. But it raised a question. There are quite a few things that I only get one of, and will never get another. How about days for them?
In particular I am thinking of the marks we all bear from our mothers. I am thinking of placentas. And belly buttons.
You only get one placenta. That it is discarded at birth, that it plays no role in your adult life, should make no difference. Honor thy father and mother. And thy placenta. And of course, we all bear the mark of our mothers. We have belly buttons. We only get one. It is irreplaceable. And it is under-appreciated.
It is time to have a day to honor belly buttons. Like mothers, like fathers, we only get one belly button. It is crucial to our survival. It is a defining mark of being a human. Without one we look weird.
Instead of posting pictures of our mothers, why don't we post pictures of our belly buttons? We could add the quotes so typical for Mother's Day. Best belly button in the world! My 85 year old belly button! Here's a picture of my belly button when it was young! No one has a belly button like mine! We could have a contest for most decorated, or nicest innie, or biggest outie, or whatever.
My point, besides being weird, is that a day that honors a universal is in the end pointless. Posting pictures of your mother, whom most people don't know and about whom no one but you cares is narcissistic and pointless, like posting pictures of your Christmas Tree. It extrudes private life into the public sphere, sort of like talking about the details of your sex life. Everyone has sex in some way.
And his brings up my last observation. This day honors the thing that disturbs us so badly as teens- that our parents had sex. Every time a mother is called out in public we are calling public attention to the fact that this woman had sex. And without use of contraception, or at least with its failure. That is a remarkably inappropriate thing to do. Hey everyone! Look at my beautiful mother! This gorgeous woman had sex with my father! That sounds so odd it makes people uncomfortable.
Maybe Mother's day isn't all it's cracked up to be. Let's honor belly buttons instead.
Ted
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