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A bit More on Single Mothers

I appreciate the insightful comments from Elizabeth and Deirdre. They both address issues that complicate single motherhood today.

There is no question that nominally single women in committed relationships skew statistics of a social nature. One may certainly question the validity and importance of marriage as a social act given its remarkably bad outcomes. It is often hard to see what advantage marriage has over a committed relationship. Numerous people have remarked (my mother being one) that the only real advantage of marriage is for commitment to and passing of property to children. There are certainly long time committed relationships without marriage. On average, however, the children's and the relationship's outcome is not very good.  The differences in the level of commitment in these relationships can be measured in one way by looking at what happens when long term live togethers marry. Contrary to expectations, such marriages have a higher, not lower, divorce rate. In the same way, the stability of these relationships for child raising can be terrific, but most commonly is not. All too often, these women end up as single mothers in reality as well as in statistics.

Elizabeth's story is a terrific one. There is no question a woman can be a successful single parent, and she says exactly why- getting priorities straight. In talking about single parenthood (fathers are much less common, but do occur), the excellent outcomes that are sometimes achieved can mask the dismal average outcomes. A woman (or man) who does do an excellent job in difficult conditions should be congratulated. Sadly, such individuals are not the norm. In speaking about the problem at a societal level I of course do not mean to dishonor those who do a good job of parenting. Since I am acquainted with both parent and child in this situation, I have personal knowledge of and respect for the actors and the outcomes.

Many thanks for the comments- I hope all will be encouraged to comment and create a conversation, not a monologue.

Ted

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