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Who Was This Man's Brother?

I am going to relate a story from work.

I was on call a few nights ago. The night included a 5 AM cesarean delivery. I was tired from the delivery and 10 hours of surgery the day before, and I walked down the hall with my head down and shoulders slumped. One of the nurses called out my name. She and I have a good relationship, which includes much mutual teasing and the sharing of some personal stories. She is an older black woman who dyes her hair platinum blonde. Somehow it fits her personality quite well. She is outspoken in a way I understand and respect, and deeply caring about her patients.

She said I looked poorly, and I told her about the prior 24 hours. She laughed and said it looked like she might have had to do CPR on me. I laughed, and said I was a DNR (do not resuscitate). She looked oddly at me and I told her I truly was a DNR. We talked a bit about why, and she said 'well I STILL would do CPR on you'. I smiled, and told her, truthfully, that it was one of the nicer things I'd ever heard, and thanked her for bringing me the first smile of the day.

I got back to my call room, showered and dressed. I was standing in the hall, talking with one of my call partners. She and I had shared an especially interesting case the previous day, and were talking about it, and call in general. As we spoke, one of the private physicians walked by. I called out 'good morning' as he approached. He didn't speak to me, didn't turn his head or even his eyes, but kept walking straight ahead. As he passed by I said, a bit more loudly 'well, good morning to you'. My call partner shook her head and added a comment.

I have given this man no cause to dislike me, and perhaps he was having an especially bad day, or maybe he has hearing impairment. I don't know. I do know, however, that the most ordinary politeness requires that we greet our peers, and preferably anyone we recognize. Professional courtesies demand the same.

I have a great deal in common with this man. We are both physicians. We have the same specialty. We are both men, both greatly privileged with regard to education, income and and social standing. We are about the same age. I have little in common with the nurse. I am white, she is black. We have greatly different incomes and net worth, different education, different backgrounds.

But, like the Samaritan in the famous parable, I know who was my brother. The person who was kind to me. What a shame that my nominal 'peer' could not do the same.

Ted

Comments

  1. Penny LiskOctober 10, 2016 at 10:19 PM

    Yes indeed. I hope your quiet colleague finds his voice and some peace.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Penny LiskOctober 10, 2016 at 10:20 PM

    Yes indeed. I hope your quiet colleague finds his voice and some peace.

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousOctober 10, 2016 at 10:41 PM

    My first reaction is to say that your colleague didn't hear you because he is experiencing a different simulated reality in The Matrix...:)

    But perhaps he is indeed losing his hearing...or was absorbed in troubling thoughts (patient complications, domestic problems, etc.)...

    ...or perhaps, yes, he didn't offer you a basic professional courtesy. If this latter is the case, then yes, we know who did indeed act as your brother (or sister, in this case). And bless her heart for caring...

    -D-

    ReplyDelete

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